Wednesday, November 27, 2002

Hands of an Angel

hands of an angel
i long to hold
only Your fingertips
can warm my cold
'tis a tormented life...
these emotions to unfetter
with not Your hand
my heart will surely shatter....

You calm my distress
so much to give
so much to gain
a lifetime together
would never ever bring pain...

were i to release You
my life would be amiss
only forever
can my heart be true
on earth and in Heaven
this i promise to You...

do You feel the same?
it may never be known
Your world of silence
might never be shown
for now and for always
for You, i will be
simply listen to Your heart
there i am waiting...for You and for Me

Monday, November 25, 2002

I was the designated "yayo" yesterday. MAN! The rugrats are truly "makulit".
They never seem to run out of energy. "Tito pasyal tayo!" "Tito,laro tayo Tekken"
"Tito, buy tayo chocolates..." I STILL LOVE 'EM TO BITS!

***



I was with my ex-officemates today. First of all, they invited me to come over and
visit them. It was a good thing that I had a scheduled interview and testing for a
multinational company this morning ( am keeping my fingers crossed on this one ).
Though I am trying not to become too attached with them. It was really heart-warming
that most of them (especially my ex-unitmates) missed me a lot. The said that they
missed my stories and anecdotes....and of course the jokes! (...ironically, I really do
not see myself as an extrovert person. I was a really quiet and serious person before.
Maybe, I'm just a late-bloomer ) Said that things were a bit quiet when I left the place
a long time ago. I know that things will change eventually and they might forget me.
But I was happy that people appreciated me for who I am. And I am thankful that I've
worked with a bunch of extraordinary people that I would ETERNALLY consider as friends.

THANK YOU FRIENDS!

Sunday, November 24, 2002

Its around 1:00am in the morning and I'm still pretty wide-awake.

Being a Zombie, I guess I could work as a:

1) Security Guard - night shift of course.
2) A bouncer - hehe..I wonder if could ever "bounce" someone?
3) A waiter at a club - might end up consuming the costumer's orders.
4) A Macho Dancer - MMmm...nope. How I wish I had a "perfect" body.
5) A barangay tanod - might get a "gripo sa tagiliran"
6) A prostitute - P10 is my asking price...thats more than I'm worth. =]
7) ...any "sane" suggestions????

Saturday, November 23, 2002

"...think I've found the lost art of writing again...."


i long to drown in your sweet embrace,
to dissolve in the ocean
i glimpse behind your eyes,
but the barrier of flesh
forever separates us...
and all I can do,
is to drift upon
the currents of passion
that swells inside me
whenever you are near...


i sow seeds of verse
and drop them
one by one
into the dark ocean of you,
hoping that in your midnight depths
they bloom...


my verse,
and my grateful heart
sinks below your depths....


you are my soul's source
the fountain of all my verse
my oasis in the desert...


my verse is empty
without you,
for you are the Spring
that sleeps,
inside all seeds...

you are -
the light of my life!
the promise of dawn,
in my world of eternal night....


...

...
"My love goes out to the person that STILL touches my heart......"
"...To ???.....miss u...."
"In Him who is the source of my strength. I have Strength in everything."

I've done my part...Its all up to HIM.

Friday, November 22, 2002

If this is the right thing to do.....
Why does it suck....
"The heart that has a firm faith, is not frightened by obstacles because it knows well that GOD loves and does not abandon those who trust in HIM."

I was in church almost the whole day today...thinking about my life and what's left of it. I was so confused and depressed that I couldn't even remember specifically what I was there for in the first place. Instead, I just talked to GOD. Literally, talking to god about my life and what has been happening lately. It was like talking to a friend. I was also, LITERALLY, pouring my emotions. Imagine a grown man crying! Thank God no one was around to witness it. I was asking HIM questions like..."Am I doing something wrong in my life?"..."Why do bad things happen to good people?"..."Am I good to you Lord?"..."Am I fighting a lost cause?"...

There were things in my life that I didnt expect to happen. I mean, things were going great. Things were going as planned. But, life has dealt me a ugly hand right now. I know that I have my share of downs in my life. And I've come out okay in most of them. But, I don't know how to respond to this ONE. Accepting this one is like throwing my principles and dreams down the drain. I know that I am not one who gives up easily. But right now, I am on the verge of giving up EVERYTHING I'VE FOUGHT FOR and BELIEVED IN. Which makes me think....Is my life still worth it???

I don't blame anyone. I don't even blame GOD.
I only blame myself and the circumstances.

I AM SO CONFUSED.

I AM SO DOWN.

I AM SO WASTED.

I AM SO................DAMMIT!

i don't know........

helpme.....

...

...

...pls....

Sunday, November 17, 2002

I HAD ONE OF THE MOST HAPPY MOMENTS IN MY LIFE. I took a bath in the rain with my "pamangkins"( Bongchi,Gabbi, and Ysabel ) I can't recall the last time I took a bath under the rain ( well...there were a few unintentional instances wherein I got soaked by it...) I could never describe how much they enjoyed playing under the rain. Though it poured for just a few minutes, it was worth it. BUT my "pamangkins" couldn't get enough eventhough it has already stopped raining...So, I just opened the garden hose and sprayed them. It was too bad that there wasn't a camera around to preserve this "kodak" moment...wish you were there to see FOUR(get it??) kids experiencing one of nature's joys....

Saturday, November 16, 2002

AM I WRONG?
Love Spit Love


there's too much
that i keep to myself
and i turn my back on my faith
it's like glass
when we break
i wish no one in my place

and i've seen
you don't need their seeds
when their dirt goes in deep
and i'm lost in sleep

i can't stay
in this place
i can't stand
when the room turns round
on my fate
you give no guarantees
there's no promise
i can keep

i can't stand
i can't see my way
i feel blind
on my feet
i can't stay too long
am i wrong?

goodbye, lay the blame on luck
goodbye, lay the blame on luck
goodbye, lay the blame on luck
goodbye, lay the blame on luck
goodbye, lay the blame on luck
goodbye, lay the blame on luck

i'm so tired
of my mood
and sleep comes
with a knife, fork and a spoon
you're so pale
in your face
you let life
get in your way

and i've seen
you don't need their seeds
when their dirt goes in deep
and i'm lost in sleep
am i wrong?

goodbye, lay the blame on luck
goodbye, lay the blame on luck
goodbye, lay the blame on luck
goodbye, lay the blame on luck





Friday, November 15, 2002

ONLY IN CHINA



ONLY IN TEHRAN


...Don't think so!!! We have that HERE IN METRO MANILA!...















I am 11% evil.
Take the test :: koolplace.com



Whew!!! Thank God! I'm still a GOODIE after all the things I've gone through...

"...special thanks to leidygaea"

Sunday, November 10, 2002

DAMN IF YOU DO. DAMN IF YOU DON'T.

There are many things in life that whatever you say or do...it still doesn't matter. YOU LOSE EITHER WAY. You're caught between two things. If you choose one, you get "burned"...If you choose the other one, YOU'D still get "burned". HOW CAN YOU CHOOSE???

I strongly suggest that You Choose with your Heart. You can never go wrong with honesty. Sure, you initially get "spit" at. But, in the end, what matters most is that it came from the heart...After all of it, it now depends on the other person......
I HAD A GREAT SATURDAY!!!

I went to the movies with ???, her MOM("...how many of you guys can do that???), and her YAYA. Watched "KAILANGAN KITA" starring Aga Mulach and Claudine Barreto. Hey! I don't watch Filipino movies that much. But, I am beginning to like 'em...Especially, if the story is good. ( YOU STILL WON'T CATCH ME WATCHING THOSE SEXY ASSUNTA DE ROSSI, MAUI TAYLOR, AND RICA PARALEJO MOVIES...NO WAY!!!btw, Claudine Barreto doesn't wear a bra all throughout the movie...

Imagine me hanging out with ???, her MOM and her YAYA???? I was jumpy at first but in the end...everything went well.

I ate dinner with her family. SHE EVEN COOKED FOR ALL OF US!! ....AAWWWW!!! For a beginner at cooking, you're not bad. In fact, SARAP-SARAP ng luto mo!!!!....no BS here....Buti ka pa marunong magluto. Ako nga marunong mag-prito ng itlog at manok lang. And women nowadays are too busy to cook for their loved ones. And its very obvious that cooking involves passion and heart for the dish to come out just right. I'll be waiting for the next dishes!!!

I also played billiards with ???, her DAD, and her DRIVER late in the evening. But I had no problems with that 'coz her dad's cool. I have played billiards before with her mom and dad so everything was okay. We played 9 balls. I was paired with her driver. THE BEST THING WAS, OUR TEAM WON (11-10)!!! Nothing personal ???, but a game is a game. ( EY ???, you're getting good at this game! You're getting to be a hustler at billiards). LET'S PLAY AGAIN!!!

My saturday was so good that eventhough I went home at about 1am after a long "voyage" home( she lives in las pinas while I live in QC), I was still wide-awake!!! NOT BAD FOR A SATURDAY NIGHT!!!


>>How was your Saturday????....

Thursday, November 07, 2002

DisorderRating
Paranoid:Low
Schizoid:Low
Schizotypal:Low
Antisocial:Low
Borderline:Low
Histrionic:Low
Narcissistic:Low
Avoidant:Low
Dependent:Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive:Low

-- Click Here To Take The Test --




...Well, looks like i'M sTill oN tHe riGhT sTatE 0F MinD?!?!????
*...this one's cool! Check it out....... I've got My Eye on You !
"From an email sent to me..."

There are many things that we can do to perk up and strengthen our interpersonal relationships. Yet the most effective involves the saying of just three words. When spoken or conveyed, these statements have the power to forge new friendships, deepen old ones and restore relationships that have cooled.

The following three-word phrases can enrich every relationship.

I'LL BE THERE.
If you have ever had to call a friend in the middle of the night, to take a sick child to hospital, or when your car has broken down some
miles from home, you will know how good it feels to hear the phrase "I'll be there." Being there for another person is the greatest gift we can give. When we are truly present for other people, important things happen to them and us. We are renewed in love and friendship. We are restored emotionally and spiritually. Being there is at the very core of civility.

I MISS YOU.
Perhaps more marriages could be saved and strengthened if couples simply and sincerely said to each other "I miss you." This powerful affirmation tells partners they are wanted, needed, desired and loved. Consider how ecstatic you would feel, if you received an unexpected phone call from your spouse in the middle of your workday, just to say "I miss you."

I RESPECT YOU.
Respect is another way of showing love. Respect conveys the feeling that another person is a true equal. If you talk to your children as if they were adults you will strengthen the bonds and become close friends. This applies to all interpersonal relationships.

MAYBE, YOU'RE RIGHT.
This phrase is highly effective in diffusing an argument and restoring frayed emotions. The flip side to "maybe your right" is the humility of admitting, "maybe I'm wrong". Let's face it. When you have a heated argument with someone, all you do is cement the other person's point of view. They, or you,will not change their stance and you run the risk
of seriously damaging the relationship between you. Saying "maybe you're right" can open the door to further explore the subject, in which you may then have the opportunity to get your view across in a more rational manner.

PLEASE FORGIVE ME.
Many broken relationships could be restored and healed if people would admit their mistakes and ask for forgiveness. All of us are
vulnerable to faults, foibles and failures. A man should never be ashamed to own up that he has been in the wrong, which is saying, in
other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.

I THANK YOU.
Gratitude is an exquisite form of courtesy. People who enjoy the companionship of good, close friends are those who don't take daily courtesies for granted. They are quick to thank their friends for their any expressions of kindness. On the other hand, people whose circle Of friends is severely constricted often do not have the attitude of gratitude.

COUNT ON ME.
A friend is one who walks in when others walk out. Loyalty is an essential ingredient for true friendship; it is the emotional glue that bonds people. Those that are rich in their relationships tend to be steady and true friends. When troubles come, a good friend is there indicating "you can count on me."

LET ME HELP.
The best of friends see a need and try to fill it. When they spot a hurt they do what they can to heal it. Without being asked, they pitch in and help.

I UNDERSTAND YOU.
People become closer and enjoy each other more if they feel the other person accepts and understands
them. Letting your spouse know in so many little ways that you understand them, is one of the most powerful
tools for healing your relationship. This applies to any relationship.

GO FOR IT.
We are all unique individuals. Don't try to get your friends to conform to your ideals. Support them in pursuing their interests, no matter how weird they seem to you. Everyone has dreams, dreams that are unique to that person only. Support and encourage your friends to follow their dreams. Tell them to "go for it."

I LOVE YOU.
Perhaps the most important three words that you can say. Telling someone that you truly love them satisfies a person's deepest emotional needs. The need to belong, to feel appreciated and to be wanted. Your family, your friends and you, all need to hear those three little words. "I love you."