Friday, January 16, 2009

Struggle


The coming months will test everything...from our health, our patience, our mentality, and our will. This will be a struggle against a force that we might not have experience before. This, as they say, will make or break everything...

"Lord...teach me to be generous;
teach me to serve you as you deserve,
to give and not to count the cost,"

But, what is also unsettling is that I cant help but feel a bit sorry that a "good deed" I genuinely acted upon seems to be the bane of my future troubles. I feel embarrassed to say that there was a point wherein, for a split second, I expected "something" in return. I trusted to much on the innate decency of a person. Its disappointing to realize that some people would still think of themselves first instead of collectively. Never realizing where they started. A handshake gesture in which the other individual refuses to extend his arm halfway.

"...to fight and not to heed the wounds,
to toil and not to seek for rest,
to labor and not to seek reward,"

This tough round of our life is pounding and beating me so hard i can almost see numbness and surrender both pulling me in. Weary, Exhausted, and drained.

But I know the struggle is not yet over.
There is more to come....dreadfully so...
This battle has become a brawl.
I know I cannot do it alone...

"...except that of knowing that I do your will..."

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...help...

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Counting the Days again....

15 DAYS to GO...